I recently read an article about an innocent young girl being molested by her step-dad. Unfortunately, sex abuse is dirty topic in the black community and since it's never talked about when it happens many mothers don't know how to effectively protect their children.
Most children are molested by someone they know. This includes family members, in-laws, teachers, baby-sitters, or the family members of friends. After doing some research I've compiled a list of things to look out for.
PLEASE SHARE THIS ARTICLE TO ANYONE WITH KIDS ESPECIALLY SINGLE MOMS.
The Average Child Molester:
Anyone can be a child molester. Most are not weird or strange. They are average people who may be highly respected in your community. Most molesters are actually quite close to the child already. They will work on the mother and father first. They have to gain your trust to get access to your child. Be wary of any male or female who seems more interested in getting to know your child than you! They may be eager to spoil your child seemingly for no reason and offer to take them off your hands.
DO NOT ALLOW FAMILY MEMBERS TO INVITE STRANGE KIDS OR ADULTS AROUND YOUR CHILD.
I met a young girl who was molested by her best friends older brother and his friends at the age of eight. She went over her young friends house one day and the sister wasn't there. Her friends teenage brother and friends gang raped her. The parent's were not home and it traumatized her for life. She presently wants a sex change and never had intercourse again. She is now 31 and dates women. (Disclaimer: Not trying to say lesbians or bisexuals are all molested, but this particular woman was and I have many associates who are gay who have been).
30% of children are molested by family membes
60% are abused by an adult they knew who was not family members
10% are abused by a total stranger
SCREEN your child's friends, their parents and their associates. Don't let your kids hang out with teens. Most teenagers are sneaky and horny. Don't depend on someone's older sister to be a proper chaperone most of the time she'll be sneaking her boyfriend and maybe his friends in the house.
Ask your child about their friends and their families. I've seen many young girls have suicidal friends in high school or have friends who struggle with depression. Many times these kids have been or are being abused at home. Don't let your kids spend time with kids in abusive households or kids who seem to have mental issues.
Many sexual predators have been abused themselves. Yes, there are children who do sexually abuse other children because they are taught the sick behavior at a young age. Monitor playtime with friends at your house. Don't just leave them alone. Stay in the room when you're getting to know your child's friends.
Female child molesters are more likely to abuse boys than girls.
The majority of child molesters are men, regardless of the child's gender.
Be extra wary of boys who have hit puberty. I've heard of cousins having crushes on other cousins or molesting cousins. If your child's female cousin is "fast" do NOT allow her to babysit. She'll be too busy bringing boys around your daughter. A full fledged adult should be chaperoning at all times not a teen going through her rebellious stage.
Habits of Child molesters:
Set up a nanny cam if you hire a babysitter. It could save your child's life. Be sure to put it in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and the child's bedroom.
Once your child is old enough to talk let him or her know what are appropriate or inappropriate places for anyone to touch him or her.
If you child goes from loving someone to being avoidant of a particular adult or child take it seriously and don't force him/her to be around said person even family members.
If you suspect your child may have been molested get a doll and have the child use the doll to describe where he or she may have been touched. The child will most likely have been threatened and told not to say anything. You could also have him or her draw a picture telling a story to get him/her to indirectly let you know what happened.
It is not unusual for the child to develop feelings for the predator and desire their approval and continued acceptance. They will compromise their innate ability to decipher good and bad behavior, ultimately justifying the criminal's bad behavior out of sympathy and concern for the adults welfare. This is often compared to Stockholm Syndrome - when victims become attached emotionally to their captors.
Lastly, screen the parents of your child's friends, church members, baby sitters, family members, and boyfriends online. Most states have a public case search website.
Here is the national site that will allow you to look up people all over the United States.
http://www.nsopw.gov/en
Most children are molested by someone they know. This includes family members, in-laws, teachers, baby-sitters, or the family members of friends. After doing some research I've compiled a list of things to look out for.
PLEASE SHARE THIS ARTICLE TO ANYONE WITH KIDS ESPECIALLY SINGLE MOMS.
The Average Child Molester:
Anyone can be a child molester. Most are not weird or strange. They are average people who may be highly respected in your community. Most molesters are actually quite close to the child already. They will work on the mother and father first. They have to gain your trust to get access to your child. Be wary of any male or female who seems more interested in getting to know your child than you! They may be eager to spoil your child seemingly for no reason and offer to take them off your hands.
DO NOT ALLOW FAMILY MEMBERS TO INVITE STRANGE KIDS OR ADULTS AROUND YOUR CHILD.
I met a young girl who was molested by her best friends older brother and his friends at the age of eight. She went over her young friends house one day and the sister wasn't there. Her friends teenage brother and friends gang raped her. The parent's were not home and it traumatized her for life. She presently wants a sex change and never had intercourse again. She is now 31 and dates women. (Disclaimer: Not trying to say lesbians or bisexuals are all molested, but this particular woman was and I have many associates who are gay who have been).
30% of children are molested by family membes
60% are abused by an adult they knew who was not family members
10% are abused by a total stranger
SCREEN your child's friends, their parents and their associates. Don't let your kids hang out with teens. Most teenagers are sneaky and horny. Don't depend on someone's older sister to be a proper chaperone most of the time she'll be sneaking her boyfriend and maybe his friends in the house.
Ask your child about their friends and their families. I've seen many young girls have suicidal friends in high school or have friends who struggle with depression. Many times these kids have been or are being abused at home. Don't let your kids spend time with kids in abusive households or kids who seem to have mental issues.
Many sexual predators have been abused themselves. Yes, there are children who do sexually abuse other children because they are taught the sick behavior at a young age. Monitor playtime with friends at your house. Don't just leave them alone. Stay in the room when you're getting to know your child's friends.
Female child molesters are more likely to abuse boys than girls.
The majority of child molesters are men, regardless of the child's gender.
Be extra wary of boys who have hit puberty. I've heard of cousins having crushes on other cousins or molesting cousins. If your child's female cousin is "fast" do NOT allow her to babysit. She'll be too busy bringing boys around your daughter. A full fledged adult should be chaperoning at all times not a teen going through her rebellious stage.
Habits of Child molesters:
- They don't display a lot of interest in you or other adults.
- They may have jobs that allow them to be around a certain age of children by working as coaching, babysitting, or teaching.
- Child molesters tend to talk about or treat children as though they are adults.
- He/She will often refer to children in pure or angelic terms using descriptives like innocent, heavenly, divine, pure, and other words that describe children but seem inappropriate and exaggerated.
- They often say they love all children or feel like they are still children.
- They will offer to step in and be a parent figure to the child right away.
- They tend to prey on the children of single parents or children who aren't getting enough attention at home.
- They will often make up GAMES, have SECRETS with your child or have CODE WORDS that may sound cute to you but are to cover up explicit behavior.
- Many child molesters ask your kids to keep it a secret from you. Make sure your child is always comfortable talking to you. Let them know you will ALWAYS believe them and protect them. Many kids don't talk because they don't think the parents trust them.
- They spend months or even years to get close to the children they molest.
- They constantly have child friendly items on hand or in their homes despite having no children. Look out for adults who always carry toys, candy, or who engage in childish hobbies for an adult.
- They rarely force or coerce a child into sexual contact. It is usually through trust and friendship. Physical contact is gradual, from touching, to picking up, to holding on lap, to kissing, etc.
Set up a nanny cam if you hire a babysitter. It could save your child's life. Be sure to put it in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and the child's bedroom.
Once your child is old enough to talk let him or her know what are appropriate or inappropriate places for anyone to touch him or her.
If you child goes from loving someone to being avoidant of a particular adult or child take it seriously and don't force him/her to be around said person even family members.
If you suspect your child may have been molested get a doll and have the child use the doll to describe where he or she may have been touched. The child will most likely have been threatened and told not to say anything. You could also have him or her draw a picture telling a story to get him/her to indirectly let you know what happened.
It is not unusual for the child to develop feelings for the predator and desire their approval and continued acceptance. They will compromise their innate ability to decipher good and bad behavior, ultimately justifying the criminal's bad behavior out of sympathy and concern for the adults welfare. This is often compared to Stockholm Syndrome - when victims become attached emotionally to their captors.
Lastly, screen the parents of your child's friends, church members, baby sitters, family members, and boyfriends online. Most states have a public case search website.
Here is the national site that will allow you to look up people all over the United States.
http://www.nsopw.gov/en